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Excuses for calling off of work ???

topic posted Mon, November 12, 2007 - 10:35 PM by 
I have only taken 2 sick days this year and hardly ever do but fri before last I had to replace my battery and my new used car still isnt running and I think I need a new starter and cant afford shit and................blah blah blah. I called in and said I thought I had the flu. The previous day I was sooooo PISSED at some shit at work and got drunk and stoned as hell when I got home. The next morning I decided to wake and bake at 5:30am. At 6 I was leaving a message. "Um. Yeah. I can't make it in today. I think I have the flu." I was speaking in my best Captain Kirk voice. All pausing and shit. lol

I dont have kids so cant use that one.

Like I said usually I hardly ever use sick days but let me try to think of some other excuses I have used in the past.

flat tire
Boyfriend trying to commit suicide ( 3 times and actually true )
Stuck in snow storm. Actually true. Coming back to Bay area from Reno years ago. It really was bad.
I think I ate something reall bad that gave me food poisoning and totally have the shits and cant get off the pot and am too weak. This has sometimes been true and sometimes NOT. Always works though. lol

Usually after all these calls I immediately took a HUGE PHAT bong hit!!!! : )
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  • AjmW...
    AjmWolfe
    offline 45

    Re: Excuses for calling off of work ???

    Tue, November 13, 2007 - 12:48 AM

    The following reasons for calling off were all true on the day used:

    1. I have tree roots in the main sewage line, my basement is an inch deep with raw waste and I have to get a plumber here ASAP.
    2. My brakes gave out backing out on my driveway. I have to have it towed to the shop. (I was delivering pizzas and couldn't work w/out a car.)
    3. My wife had a stroke and I was by her side at the hospital for the past 37 hours w/out sleeping. I'd be useless if I tried to come in.
    4. I'm leaving for bootcamp in.. um.. 19 minutes.
    5. I woke up with a strained muscle in my side, slipped in the shower twice and wrenched my elbow, tore my pants putting them on, spilled milk on the second pair on pants, tripped over the door jam and broke a shoelace on my way out. Getting into my car, I got mud all over the back of my THIRD pair of pants and then the car wouldn't start. I'm sorry to fuck you this way, but I think it's an omen. I'm not spending my grocery money on a cab; it's only going to get worse from here.

    no shit, all true
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  • Gabsta
    Gabsta
    online 37

    Re: Excuses for calling off of work ???

    Thu, November 15, 2007 - 10:19 PM
    my excuses are hardly - if ever - legit and have included such all time hits as:
    *stomach flu bought on by dodgey chinese/indian food
    *flu or cold
    *my sister has haad a family emergency and needs me to look after the kids
    *an old friend from highschool passed away and I just found out their funeral was today
    *back before they had a website you could llog onto to check if the trains were running on time and when I lived about an hour from the city I'd say that the trains on my line had been cancelled....no one in the office lived outside the city so I was covered
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  • Unsu...
     

    Re: Excuses for calling off of work ???

    Thu, November 22, 2007 - 7:28 PM
    I have to have my cat put down today, the vet says she has total kidney failure. <very true :(

    I have a fever this morning and I can't stay out of the bathroom for more than 5 minutes. <sometimes true and sometimes not so true>

    I have a migraine. <sometimes true and sometimes means my husband is off today and feeling frisky...woohoo>

    There is so much snow in our stupid apartment complex my car can't move 5 inches, the maintenance crew suck. <So very true here in Denver>

    My husband just called, his boss invited us to join him in his private box at Coors Field for the Rockies World Series game today. <very true, his boss thinks I'm a looker....too bad the Rockies forgot to show up and play that day, ahem>
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